Date: Thu, 17 Oct 96 15:58:38 EST
From: "Bob Steele" <bsteele@ssd.wwb.noaa.gov>
To: bsteele@erols.com, dspanburg@fdic.gov, garyj@gmu.edu, kdredske@gmu.edu,
        khargesh@osf1.gmu.edu, rocky@asic-alliance.com, smustafa@osf1.gmu.edu,
        bcox@gmu.edu, jbrust@orbit1i.nesdis.noaa.gov
Subject: Not Raising Hogs

     
;-)
bob

______________________________ Forward Header __________________________________
Subject: Not Raising Hogs
Author:  Steve Arnett at SSD
Date:    10/17/96 9:57 AM


Subject: FW: FW: NOT RAISING HOGS
>From Marlene
     
From:  "Theriault, Marlen
Subject:  FW: FW: NOT RAISING HOGS
Date:  10/16
Time:  07:48 AM
     
>From someone in Nelson's office...
     
     This is one of my favorites--and soooo true! I have 
     a cousin my age in Florida who gets paid not to 
     plant soybeans and peanuts.  He also gets paid not 
     to sell timber on his property. He doesn't 
     work--just plays golf. What a life.
     
     
From: BRUCE HODGE/USASAC/US
Date: 10/15/96 08:11:08 AM
Subject: NOT RAISING HOGS
 Dear Senator,
     
      My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wellsburg,
Iowa, received a check for $1,000.00  from the 
government for not raising hogs.  So I want to
 go into the "not raising hogs" business next
year.
     
   What I want to know is, in your opinion, what
is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs on and 
what is the best breed of hogs not to raise?  I 
want to be sure that I approach this endeavor
in  keeping with all governmental policies.  I 
would prefer not to raise razorbacks, but if that 
is not a good breed not to raise, then I would 
just as gladly not raise Yorkshires or Durocs.
     
  As I see it, the hardest part of this program will
be in keeping an accurate inventory of how 
many hogs I haven't raised.
     
   My  friend, Peterson, is very joyful about the
future of the business. He has been raising 
hogs for twenty years or so, and the best he 
ever made on them was $442.00 in 1968, until 
this year when he got your check for $1,000.00 
for not raising hogs.
     
   If I get $1,000.00 for not raising 50 hogs, will
I get $2,000.00 for not  raising  100 hogs?  I 
plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding 
myself  down to about 4,000 hogs not raised,
which will mean about $80,000.00 the first year.
 Then I can afford an airplane.
     
   Now another thing.  These hogs I will not be
raising will not eat 100,000 bushels of corn.  I 
understand that you also pay farmers for
 not raising corn and wheat.  Will I qualify for
payments for not raising wheat and corn not to 
feed the 4,000 hogs I am not going to raise?
     
   I want to get started as soon as possible as
this seems to be a good time of the year not to 
raise hogs and grain.
     
   Also, I am considering the "not milking cows"
business, so send me any information on that 
too.
     
   In view of these circumstances, you
understand that I will be totally unemployed and 
plan to file for unemployment and food stamps.
     
   Be assured you will have my vote in the
coming election.
     
 Patriotically yours,
     
 A Good Citizen