FYA...

  Louis
------------------------------
From: "Nathan I. Horwitz" <NIH821%ALBANY.BITNET@dartcms1.dartmouth.edu> 
Wed, 14 Dec 94 09:59:38 EST
To: li <libernet-d@Dartmouth.EDU>
Subject: FW: Friday Humor - Hoof in Mouth Disease (fwd)



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Date: Tue, 13 Dec 94 09:32 EST
From: Miller James <MAGNET1/WINMAG/jmiller%CMP@mcimail.com>
To: Nathan Horwitz <nih821@albany.edu>
Subject: FW: Friday Humor - Hoof in Mouth Disease
Message-Id: <04941213143240/0005514573NA4EM@MCIMAIL.COM>



 ----------
From: McKeefry Hailey
To: WIN_STAFF
Subject: Friday Humor - Hoof in Mouth Disease
Date: Friday, December 09, 1994 7:38AM



>From the book THE 776 STUPIDEST THINGS EVER SAID, by Ross and Kathryn
Petras.

  --"Things are more like they are now than they ever have been
  before."  President Gerald Ford.

  --"While you are away, movie stars are taking your women, Robert
  Redford is dating your girlfriend, Tom Selleck is kissing your lady,
  Bart Simpson is making love to your wife." Bagdad Betty, Iraqi radio
  announcer to Gulf War troops.

  --"China is a big country inhabited by many Chinese."  Charles De
  Gaulle, French President.

  --"This is a great day for France!"  President Richard Nixon, while
  attending De Gualle's funeral.

  --"Smoking kills.  If you're killed, you've lost a very important
  part of your life."  Brooke Shields, demonstrating why she would make
  a good spokeswoman for an anti-smoking group.

  --"Bite the wax tadpole."  Coca-Cola name as originally translated
  into Chinese.  It was changed to mean "may the mouth rejoice"

  --"Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave."  ad slogan
  "Pepsi comes alive" as initially translated into Chinese.

  --"This kind of weapon can't help but have an effect on the
  population as a whole."  President Ronald Reagan on nuclear weapons.

  --"Sure, I look like a white man. But my heart is as black as
  anyone's here."  George Wallace, during a presidential campaign
  speech to a largely black audience.

  --"I didn't inhale."  President Bill Clinton answering rumors that he
  had smoked marijuana.

  --"This portion of `Women on the Run' is brought to you by Phillips'
  Milk of Magnesia."  Harry Von Zell, radio announcer in the 1950's.

  --"Indignantly Condemn the Wang-Chan-Chiang-Yao Gang of Four."  Hit
  song of 1976, according to People's Daily, Beijing, China.

  --"I desire the Poles carnally."  Presidnet Jimmy Carter's
  mis-translation in a 1977 speech in Poland.

  --"There are two kinds of truth.  There are the real truths and there
  are the made up truths."  Marion Barry, mayor of Washington D.C., on
  his arrest for drug use.

  --"I love California.  I grew up in Phoenix."  Dan Quayle

  --"This country needs a spear chucker, and I think we've got him up
  on this podium."  Eugene Dorff, mayor of Kenosha, Wisconsin,
  introducing presidential candidate Jesse Jackson.  Dorff said later
  that he intended to say "straight shooter" but slipped.

  --"If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it's good enough for
  me."  a congressman to Dr. Davis Edwards, head of the Joint National
  Committee on Language, about the necessity for a commercial nation to
  be multi-lingual.

  --"We need laws that protect everyone - men and women, straights and
  gays, regardless of sexual perversion...ah, persuasion."  Bella
  Abzug, New York politician addressing a rally for the Equal Rights
  Amendment.

  Louis  James               Center for Market Processes
                             4084 University Dr., St. 208
                             Fairfax, VA  22030
                             tel: 703-934-6970, e-mail: cmp@gmu.edu